Delaware and Main Line wedding professionals weigh in on how to get them excited about getting involved.
Words by Kaydee Jones
There’s nothing quite like the moment when two people promise one life together, forever. Every engagement story is unique and personal, and becomes the unforgettable new starting point for the next steps in a relationship.
But before couples can ride off into the proverbial sunset and eternal marital bliss, there’s another journey they must face together—wedding planning.
Planning a wedding is an opportunity for couples to not only sharpen their skills when it comes to negotiation and compromise, says John Serock, president of his eponymous catering company in West Chester, but also to learn about each other.
“It’s about becoming a team and learning how to work together,” Serock says.
For some people, curating details such as caterers, photographers, wedding décor and more is part of the fun; for others, it may feel overwhelming or even tedious. If your soon-to-be spouse is less than captivated by the thought of planning your Big Day, read on for helpful advice from local wedding professionals on how to get them excited about getting involved.
The best place to start is by having an open conversation about what means the most to each of you when you envision your wedding day, says Dana Ferreri, founder and lead event planner at Happy Hour Events in coastal Delaware. Genuinely hear each other out, she says, and build the event in such a way that it reflects both of your personalities. If family members are also involved and you find it difficult to focus solely on what your partner wants, says Ferreri, simply “let go of the urge to please everyone else and consider what’s important to you as a couple.”
Visiting potential venues and ceremony locations together is a great way to get on the same page and get a feel for the other person’s vision, says Carly Spross, marketing director at Springfield Country Club in Springfield. “You might think you’re saying the same thing, but when you look at a place in person, you’ll realize if you’re actually in sync or if you’ve got different ideas,” she says. Working out any differences will be easier if you’re in the setting.
Enlist an expert (or a lot of them)
If things get overwhelming, don’t be afraid to ask your vendors for help. “The last thing we want is a couple that is just over the process,” Serock says. “Use our expert advice to get things done.” Spross adds that couples might be surprised at how flexible vendors can be if they understand the vision for the day. So be sure to openly communicate your thoughts, ideas and wishes—even if they seem unconventional. “There are no bad ideas,” Spross says. In fact, where vendors have the most fun, she says, “is customizing things and really finding ways to make the whole experience personal.”
Don’t sweat the small stuff
Couples can easily get caught up in nitty-gritty details in hopes of achieving a Pinterest-perfect or Instagram-worthy wedding. Don’t stress, says Ferreri. “The day goes by so fast that those intricacies will likely be overlooked.” Rather, think about the big picture, what really matters, and go from there. “You’re spending a whole lot of money, so if something doesn’t really resonate with you, it’s not money well spent.”
Make it fun
Planning your wedding should be fun, not feel like a chore. To get an ambivalent partner not only involved, but also excited, weave their personal interests into the process, says Serock. Does he or she love music? Let them select the band or deejay. Is your sweetheart a foodie? Let them take the lead on the menu. Involving their friends and loved ones can also make planning an enjoyable experience. Enlist trusted friends, family members or the wedding party to help with do-it-yourself tasks like addressing invitations, arranging bouquets or painting signs. No part of wedding planning should feel like “work,” Serock says.
Share the experience
Being betrothed comes with perks beyond getting to wake up next to your best friend every day. Throughout the wedding-planning process, vendors often offer luxe freebies like hotel stays, rounds of golf, gourmet food tastings, spa treatments and beyond. So, bask in the swag together and sweeten the experience.